當我感知不到成功時 When I Don’t Feel Successful
作者: J.R. Vassar 譯者: Maria Marta
自從亞當、夏娃第一次受誘惑上當以後，失敗便成了人類的經驗的一部分。作為上帝形象的承載者，我們能做非凡的事情。但作為墮落形象的承載者，我們能同時做出可怕的事情。從細微的錯誤到巨大的災難，對失敗的痛苦和恥辱，我們都目知眼見。但在上帝的恩典中，上帝挽回祂的子民的失敗，並且使用這些失敗來陶塑我們的生命。
福音之美
人的內心都渴望被看為義（justification）。這就是為什麼當我們失敗時，我們要捏造借口，推卸責任，或尋找替罪羊的原因。我們的天性傾向在成功中尋求主觀驗證（personal
validation），用我們的成就來確保其合法性。因此，每一次失敗的冒險----------無論是得了糟糕成績，或申請破產，或婚姻破裂，或只是遇到尷尬的時刻---------都指出我們的軟弱、愚蠢、缺點----------我們都缺少義。對義，對別人的認同的渴求，是另一種我們必須要有的，更深層的，對上帝的認同的渴求的表層喧嘩之聲。我們真正需要的是那一位的最終認同、驗證與接納。我們需要在上帝面前被看為義。這是我們在福音中領受的禮物。
「既然知道人稱義不是靠行律法，而是因信耶穌基督」 (加 二16) 。福音的好消息是，撇開我們的成就和面對的不斷失敗，藉著信靠耶穌，我們在上帝面前得稱為義。福音是偉大的交換：耶穌承受我們一切的失敗，被定罪，好叫我們因著信，可以承受祂的義，被上帝接納。藉著信靠耶穌，我們得蒙赦免，被接納為上帝所親愛的孩子，父上帝愛我們，就象愛耶穌一樣。任何成功都不可能賦予我們這樣的地位。因此，當我們失敗時，我們必不會徹底動搖。福音談論我們多過談論我們的失敗。作判決的上帝談論我們，勝過由我們的聲音或其他聲音所發出的其他每一項判決對我們的談論。上帝用我們的失敗除去我們的自義，把我們指向耶穌基督，在耶穌基督裡，我們找到一種義，足以滿足信心、價值，和難以動搖的喜樂。在基督裡，上帝的拯救大能和稱義的愛，能洗凈由我們的罪帶來的恥辱、自恨，與失敗。
內心的偶像
在2016年，大西洋雜志（The Atlantic magazine）刊登了一篇名為〈奪取金牌的黑暗面〉的文章，作者弗洛裏奧（John
Florio）和夏皮羅（Ouisie
Shapiro）在文章中詳述，許多運動員在參加奧林匹克運動會之後，都不約而同地患上抑郁癥。許多奧林匹克運動員在努力爭取金牌的過程中，全神貫注於他們的身份認同。作者引用一段遊泳運動員史畢茲（ Mark
Spitz）在1972奧林匹克運動會期間，在將爭奪七枚金牌時接受的采訪。史畢茲在采訪說，「如果我遊6場贏下6個冠軍，我就是英雄。但如果我遊7場只贏下6場，那我就是個失敗者。」
史畢茲的意義和重要性依賴於一個完美的記錄。他被他的表演束縛。我們如何定義失敗，和我們最懼怕的失敗，都顯示了我們建立我們的身份認同的依據。這些依據顯示，除了上帝的愛和基督裡的接納以外，我們還指望某些事物賜給我們生活的合法性和目標。
我們的懼怕也揭露了我們內心所珍視的事物。使徒保羅在腓立比書三章8節中說，「我也把萬事當作是有損的，因為我以認識我主基督耶穌為至寶。」 主耶穌是保羅的終極至寶。耶穌是唯一值得為之付出所有的至寶。這就是為什麼保羅可以失去一切，但仍有喜樂的原因。保羅正確地建立他的愛的秩序，極度重視具有至高價值的寶物。他的偉大目標是知道，愛，服事，和變得象耶穌。這是人心最不遺余力要去作的。因此，最後的成功是知道，愛，服事，變得象耶穌，不如此做就是最終的失敗。因此，當生意徹底失敗，關系破裂，或你的養育計劃落空，你可能因失敗而悲傷，但還不至於絕望。失敗是痛苦的，但我們失去的事物並非我們最終的至寶和目標。我們擁有耶穌基督，這顆最超值，最昂貴的珍珠，有祂已經足夠了。
渴慕最終得贖
如果我們在基督裡，榮耀的未來等著我們。我們的罪惡、痛苦，與最終的死亡都明顯地提醒我們失敗的現實。但在末後，眨眼之間，我們都要復活，變成不朽壞的生命，永遠擺脫羞恥（林前十五42–56）。終有一天，我們將得榮耀，並擺脫罪惡、痛苦、失敗，和軟弱（羅八18–23）。我們在我們的父的國中，要像太陽一樣的照耀（太十三43），我們將與耶穌基督一起，在新天新地裡統治和掌管（羅八17）。無止境的喜樂、美麗、完美等著我們。但現在還不是那一天。我們仍會失敗，跌倒，做醜惡的事，但所有這一切都在提醒我們，我們還未變成將要來的那一天的樣子。假如我們管理好我們的失敗的痛苦，我們內心對榮耀的聖潔的渴望將被喚醒，這將為我們提供燃料，加油助力，使我們能更忠心，更熱情地事奉那將會到達完全地步的上帝的國度。最終，失敗要被挫敗，我們將會掌權。因此，我們和使徒約翰一齊說，「阿們！主耶穌啊，請你來吧！」
本譯文所引用的經文均出自聖經新譯本。
Rev. J.R. Vassar is lead pastor of
Church at the Cross in Grapevine, Tex. He is author of Glory Hunger: God, the
Gospel, and Our Quest for Something More.
本文原刊於Tabletalk雜誌2017年一月號 。
When I Don’t Feel Successful
by J.R. Vassar
Since Adam and Eve bit on the first
temptation, failure has been a part of our human experience. As God’s image
bearers, we are capable of remarkable things. But as fallen image bearers, we
are simultaneously capable of terrible things. From small mistakes to colossal
meltdowns, we are all too familiar with the pain and shame of failure. But, in
His grace, God redeems the failures of His people, and He will use them to
shape and form our lives.
The Beauty of the Gospel
The human heart craves justification.
This is why we make excuses, shift blame, or look for a scapegoat when we have
failed. Our natural tendency is to seek personal validation in our successes,
securing legitimacy by our accomplishments. So every failed venture—whether a
poor grade, a bankruptcy filing, a broken marriage, or simply an embarrassing
moment—points out our weakness, foolishness, and imperfection—our lack of
righteousness. This ache for justification, for approval in the eyes of others,
is the surface rumbling of a deeper ache we have to be approved in the eyes of
God. What we really need is the approval, validation, and acceptance of the One
who ultimately matters. We need to be justified before God. This is a gift that
is ours in the gospel.
“We know that a person is not
justified by works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ” (Gal. 2:16).
The good news of the gospel is that we can be declared righteous before God
through faith in Jesus, apart from our accomplishments and in the face of our
ongoing failures. The gospel is a great exchange: Jesus bears all our failures
and is condemned so that by faith we might bear His righteousness and be
accepted by God. Through faith in Jesus, we are pardoned and adopted as God’s
dear children, loved by the Father as much as Jesus is loved by the Father. No
success could bestow this status upon us. So when we fail, we need not be
shaken at the core. The gospel says more about us than our failures do. The
verdict God speaks over us trumps every other verdict spoken over us by our
voices or the voices of others. God uses our failures to wean us off
self-righteousness and point us to Jesus, in whom we find a righteousness that
is sufficient for our confidence, value, and unshakable joy. In Christ, the
power of God’s saving and justifying love can wash away the shame and
self-loathing of our sin and failure.
The Idols of Our Hearts
In a 2016 article in The Atlantic
titled “The Dark Side of Going for Gold,” authors John Florio and Ouisie
Shapiro detail the depression that many athletes experience after competing in
the Olympics. Many Olympians wrap up their identity in the pursuit of the gold
medal. The authors cite an interview with swimmer Mark Spitz during the 1972
Games as he was going for seven gold medals. Spitz said, “If I swim six and win
six, I’ll be a hero. If I swim seven and win six, I’ll be a failure.” His
meaning and significance were dependent upon attaining a perfect record. He was
in bondage to his performance. How we define failure, and the failures we most
fear, reveal what we are building our identity on. They show that we are
looking to something other than God’s love and acceptance in Christ to give
legitimacy and purpose to our lives.
Our fears also reveal what we prize
in our hearts. The Apostle Paul testified in Philippians 3:8, “I have suffered
the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain
Christ.” The Lord Jesus was Paul’s ultimate prize. Jesus was the one thing
worth losing all things to have. This is why Paul could lose everything and
still rejoice. Paul had ordered his loves rightly, valuing supremely what was
supremely valuable. His great aim was to know, love, serve, and become like
Jesus. This is the greatest endeavor of the human heart. In this way, the
ultimate success is to know, love, serve and become like Him; not doing so is
the ultimate failure. So when the business folds, the relationship falls apart,
or your parenting blueprints don’t work, you can grieve the failure but not be
undone by it. Loss is painful, but the things we lose are not our ultimate
prize and aim. We have Christ, the surpassing value, the pearl of great price,
and He is enough.
The Hunger for Final Redemption
If we are in Christ, a glorious
future awaits us. Our sins, suffering, and ultimately death are glaring reminders
of the reality of our failure. But in the end, in the twinkling of an eye, we
will be raised to indestructible life and be rid of shame forever (1 Cor.
15:42–56). One day, we will be glorified, finally free from sin, suffering,
failure, and frailty (Rom. 8:18–23). We will shine like the sun in the kingdom
of our Father (Matt. 13:43), and we will rule and reign with Christ in the new
heavens and new earth (Rom. 8:17). Unending joy, beauty, and perfection await
us. But this is not that day. We still fail and fall and do ugly things, all of
which remind us that we are not what we one day will become. If we steward the
pain of our failure, a holy longing for glory will be awakened in our hearts
that will fuel greater faithfulness and passion for the kingdom of God to come.
In the end, failure will fail, and we will reign. So, we say with the Apostle
John, “Amen! Come, Lord Jesus!”