作者：Tim Challies 譯者：駱鴻銘
我很忙。你很忙。我們都很忙。我們忙碌到連行程表裏再多塞一件事，或者在我們的人生中多認識一個朋友都不可能。這就是在北美的生活，或者說在廿一世紀裏的生活。克里德（Tim Kreider）在紐約時報的一篇文章裏說到，我們總是有一套制式的反應：「這是個好問題」或「有問題總比沒問題好」。這種回應也許很老套，但卻不是個很好的回應。I ‘m so busy. You’re so busy. We’re all so busy. We’re so busy that we can’t possibly fit one more thing into our schedules, or
one more relationship into our lives. That’s life in North America, or perhaps
just life in the twenty-first century. In an article in the New York Times, Tim
Kreider says that we all have a stock response: “That’s a good problem to
have,” or “Better than the opposite.” It may be a stock response, but it’s not
a particularly good one.
我們只能有這兩樣選擇嗎：很忙或懶惰？Are those the only options we’ve got: busy or lazy?
我注意到自己的生活中有一件既有趣、又很煩人的事，那就是：不斷有人告訴我，我有多忙。人們如此假定。也許是因為他們無法想像還會有不忙的人。或者是因為我老是給人我很忙的感覺，讓人相信我忙到事情一直做不完或沒時間去作。我會接到電話說：「我知道你很忙，很抱歉佔用你的時間。」我也接到電郵說：「很抱歉問你這個問題。」我甚至感到我必須假裝很忙，否則人們就會開始以為我很懶惰。難道我們只能有這兩樣選擇嗎：忙碌或懶惰？I’ve noticed something in my own life that I find
both interesting and disturbing. It’s this: People keep telling me how busy I
am. People assume it. It might be because they just can’t imagine anyone being
anything but busy. Or maybe it’s because I am giving off those busy vibes,
somehow convincing people that I have way too much to do and way too little
time to do it. I receive phone calls that say, “I know you’re so busy, and I’m
sorry for taking more of your time.” I receive emails that say, “I’m so sorry
for asking you this.” I even feel like I need to look and act busy since
otherwise people may start to think I’m lazy. Are those the only options we’ve
got: busy or lazy?
事情是這樣的：我不認為自己很忙。當我在某個大會裏擔任講員，用一段時間給人問問題，我經常被問道：「你做了那麼多事，是怎麼辦到的？」我的回答通常是沿著這樣的思路：「我做的其實不多，我的步調其實是很放鬆的。」這是因為我刻意排除了所有的事情，只保留我想注意的幾件事：家庭、教會（我既是教會成員，也是牧師）、朋友，和寫作。我所作的不外乎你所能看到的。」沒別的了。除此之外，我的生活也乏善可陳。如果我的生活像是一個餡餅，這些事就會各佔據一小塊，到頭來也所剩無幾。我很滿意這樣的生活，我不需要更多的時間做其他的事。Here’s the thing: I don’t consider myself busy. When
I speak at an event and do a question and answer session, I am often asked
something like this: “How do you do all that you do?” My answer is usually
something along these lines: “I actually don’t do all that much and live at
quite a relaxed pace. This is because I’ve been deliberate in eliminating
everything but the few things I want to give attention to: Family, church (both
as a member and a pastor), friends and writing. What you see me do is just
about all I do!” And that’s it. There just isn’t a lot more to my life than
that. If my life is pie-shaped, then each of these things gets a slice of the
pie and there just isn’t much left over at the end. I am okay with that. I
don’t need time for much else.
這不是說我的生活就是無憂無慮的，沒有任何最後期限的壓力。也不是說我會花一整天時間泡在網上，或者和人在電話上不費腦地扯淡。完全不是這樣。在我安排要工作的時間裏，我會盡全力把工作做好。我甚至偶爾會計算我是如何運用時間的，看哪裏比較有效率，哪裏是在浪費時間。在分配給家人的時間裏，我會努力全心全意與他們相處。我分配給朋友和鄰居的時間也一樣。我截取一段時間來寫作，用最多的文字和想法來填滿這段時間。儘管這只是理想，很難維持。總是隨時會有事插進來，因此工作時間會侵犯到家庭時間，而寫作時間會變成靈修時間。但是在我力所能及的部分，生活是很有規律的，一點都不忙。This is not to say
that I go through life free from all anxiety and without the stress of
approaching deadlines. Neither does it mean that I spend my days surfing the
web and chatting mindlessly on the phone. Not at all. I do my best to work hard
in the times that I’ve set aside to work. I even measure my use of time every
now and again so see where I am using time well and where I am frittering it
away. I do my best to be fully present with my family in those times that I’ve
dedicated to them. The same is true of friends and neighbors. I block off time
to write and try to fill that time with as many words and as many ideas as
possible. This is the ideal, though it is so difficult to maintain. One thing
constantly wants to intrude on the other, so work times infringes upon family
time and writing time falls into devotional time. But when I’m at my best, life
is structured and life just isn’t busy.
克里德提出一個很有趣的觀點：「請注意，那些告訴你他們有多忙的人，通常不是那些在加護病房輪班或靠公車通勤、打三份最低薪資工的人；他們不是忙，而是累。累翻了。筋疲力盡。那些會哀嘆太忙的人，幾乎都是自找的：他們自願去承擔的工作和責任，他們一直『鼓勵』孩子們去上的課和參加的活動。他們忙是因為他們自己的野心、驅動力或焦慮，因為他們對忙碌上了癮，害怕面對不忙的情況。」Kreider makes an
interesting point:
Notice
it isn’t generally people pulling back-to-back shifts in the I.C.U. or
commuting by bus to three minimum-wage jobs
who tell you how busy they are; what those people are is not busy but
tired. Exhausted. Dead on their feet. It’s almost always people whose lamented
busyness is purely self-imposed: work and obligations they’ve taken on
voluntarily, classes and activities they’ve “encouraged” their kids to
participate in. They’re busy because of their own ambition or drive or anxiety,
because they’re addicted to busyness and dread what they might have to face in
its absence.
忙碌有一些屬靈的層面，會影響我們的靈命。克里德說，「忙碌的用處是作為一種存在的保證，一堵防止空虛的圍牆；很顯然，如果你忙到行程表排滿了行程，一天二十四小時都有人需要你，你的人生就不可能是愚蠢的，或微不足道的，或是沒有意義的。」這不是完全沒道理。忙碌會給我們安全感，一種莫名其妙的安慰，即使它榨乾我們的氣力，剝奪我們的感覺，彷彿我們成功地盡了我們的責任，哪怕只有一項。There are spiritual
dimensions to busyness. There are spiritual consequences. Kreider says,
“Busyness serves as a kind of existential reassurance, a hedge against
emptiness; obviously your life cannot possibly be silly or trivial or
meaningless if you are so busy, completely booked, in demand every hour of the
day.” There is truth in this. We can feel reassured by busyness and strangely
comforted by it, even as it saps us of all strength and keeps us from feeling
as if we are succeeding at even one of our responsibilities.
忙碌是要付代價的，但是被人認為你很忙，還有一個更微妙的代價。當人相信我很忙的時候，他們也會認為我不易親近。這是最讓我感到困擾的。教會的人會想要或需要我的一些時間和注意，但是因為他們以為我很忙，就會害怕或難以啟齒，要求我分一些時間給他們。我的孩子們會希望我陪他們，卻以為父親太忙，沒時間給他們。這是最令我感到困擾的，就是我的忙碌，或者這種忙碌感，會讓我在一些我希望能做好的地方，更缺乏效率。這個代價高到我無法容忍。因此，讓我再一次說，主要是要對自己保證：我不忙。我有充足的時間去完成主呼召我去做的事。There is a cost to
busyness, but there is a more subtle cost to being perceived as busy. When
people believe that I’m busy, they also believe that I am unapproachable. This
is what has disturbed me the most. People at church may want or need some of my
time and attention, but because they perceive me as being so busy, they may be
afraid or embarrassed to ask for it. My kids may want some of my time but
believe that dad is too busy for them. This is what disturbs me most, that my
busyness, or the perception of busyness, makes me less effective in the areas
in which I want to do well. That cost is too high to tolerate. So let me say it
again, primarily to reassure myself: I’m not busy. I have all the time I need
to accomplish the things the Lord has called me to.