作者:
Albert Mohler 譯者: Maria Marta
成年不僅僅是年齡的結果-------它是一件了不起的事。縱觀人類歷史，年青人都渴望邁入成人期，並努力去實現這一願望。人類社會有三個近乎普及化的成人標志，其中包括婚姻、經濟獨立、與準備生育。但現在，成年這一概念正面臨險境。
一項反覆研究發現，年青的美國人正在進入成年期，如果有這種情況的話，他們是遠遠早於現在的前幾代人。五十年前美國年青人的平均結婚年齡是二十多歲。現在趨向於接近30歲。
為什麽這對我們大家都很重要？一種穩定和功能性的文化需要建立穩定的婚姻和培育家庭。沒有健康的婚姻和家庭生活作基礎，持久和健康的社區就不能長期存在下去。
顯然，我們自己的社會暴露了遲婚與其後果的問題，但我們並非惟一出現遲婚問題的國家。隨著不祥的經濟、政治、與社會影響，許多歐洲國家亦顯露了類似的成年推遲的模式。
對於基督徒來說，這個問題絕不僅僅是社會學或經濟學的問題。首要問題是道德的問題。當我們大多數人在思想道德時，我們首先思想的是倫理規則和戒命，但基督徒的世界觀提醒我們，第一個道德關注總是造物主對我們，即作為祂的人類受造物------唯一按照祂的形象被造的受造物的期望。
聖經肯定婚姻的概念是人類的中心期望。早在聖經第二章，我們就讀到：「因此人要離開父母，和妻子連合，二人成為一體」（創二24新譯本）。
現在，聖經所肯定的事實正在變得越來越罕見。 在更大的社會中，未婚同居越來越普遍，甚至世俗觀察者也註意到，在大多數情況下，同居不再導致婚姻。 約翰霍普金斯大學（John Hopkins University）的謝林（Andrew Cherlin）教授最近告訴時代雜誌，美國年青人之間的大多數同居關系是短期的。 它不是婚前同居; 而同居而不結婚。
時代雜誌的故事還指出了另一種令人擔憂的模式：千禧代（Millennials)正擁有非婚生子的驚人比率。
此外，幾年前，威爾科克斯（W. Bradford Wilcox）根據懷特諾（Robert Wuthnow所作的研究，認為遲婚是世俗化的主要驅動力。遲婚與青春期延伸所造成的巨大，並常被忽視的影響緊密相聯。成年意味著成年人要肩負的責任，對於絕大多數年青人而言，成年意味著婚姻和為人父母。青春期延長至二十幾歲（甚至30歲），與世俗主義的興起和較低的教會出席率高度相關。
基督徒明白，我們被造成男人和女人，以彰顯上帝的榮耀，我們被賜予婚姻的禮物，作為一個獨特背景，在這背景下，上帝設計性這禮物，並賦予我們擁有與養育孩子的特權與命令。基於這些以及更多的原因，基督徒必須明白，除非得蒙獨身的呼召，否則，基督徒應該尊重婚姻，尋求結婚，在人生更早，而不是較後的階段，進入養育與肩負成年人的全部責任。
成年推遲並不符合聖經的人生觀，對於大多數年青的基督徒而言，婚姻應該是年青成年人的計劃，和對基督忠心的核心部分。當丈夫和妻子一起達到成年階段時，年青基督徒在混亂的世界面前見證上帝的計劃和恩賜。
基督徒明白不能將婚前與婚外性行為當作一個選項。同居與順服基督相抵觸。孩子是上帝的恩賜，應在在婚姻的盟約中欣然接受和接納。
很突出的一點是，文化世俗政府現在對年青人的遲婚表示擔心。時代雜志關注年輕美國人不結婚這一問題，基督徒更應倍加關注。
年青的美國人，包括年青的基督徒，在走向完全成年的過程中，面臨著一些非常現實的挑戰，毫無疑問，經濟因素扮演着一個重要的角色。但甚至世俗的觀察家也認識到，婚姻的轉變指向道德的根本轉變。坦白說，事實是，前幾代年青人面臨著甚至更大的經濟挑戰，但他們仍然找到通往成年和婚姻的道路。
基督教教會必須鼓勵年青基督徒朝著婚姻的目標邁進，並且必須清楚，在人生的每個階段和每個季節中，聖潔和順服基督的必要性。當我們周遭的人迷惑不解，詢問婚姻怎麽了時，基督徒必須在婚姻中展示上帝的榮耀，以及上帝在婚姻盟約中賜予我們的一切。
我們必須鼓勵年青的基督徒不要拖延婚姻，也不要草率結婚，而是要在成年早期的關鍵時期，將結婚置於優先位置。在這個問題上，我們沒有時間去等待。
本文原刊於Tabletalk雜誌2017年三月號 。
The Problem of Delaying Marriage
by Albert Mohler
Adulthood is not just a function of
age—it is an achievement. Throughout human history, young people have aspired
to achieve adulthood and have worked hard to get there. The three nearly
universal marks of adulthood in human societies include marriage, financial
independence, and readiness for parenthood. Now, the very concept of adulthood
is in jeopardy.
Study after study reveals that
young Americans are achieving adulthood, if at all, far later than previous
generations now living. The average age of marriage for young Americans fifty
years ago was in the very early twenties. Now, it is trending closer to age
thirty.
Why is this important to us all? A
stable and functional culture requires the establishment of stable marriages
and the nurturing of families. Without a healthy marriage and family life as
foundation, no lasting and healthy community can long survive.
Clearly, our own society reveals
the delay of marriage and its consequences, but we are hardly alone. Many
European nations display similar patterns of delayed adulthood, with ominous
economic, political, and social implications.
For Christians, however, the issue
is never merely sociological or economic. The primary issue is moral. When most
of us think about morality, we think first of ethical rules and commandments,
but the Christian worldview reminds us that the first moral concern is always
what the Creator expects of us as His human creatures, the only creatures made
in His own image.
The Bible affirms the concept of
marriage as a central expectation for humanity. As early as the second chapter
in the Bible we read: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother
and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24).
Now, that reality is becoming more
and more rare. In the larger society, cohabitation without marriage is
increasingly the norm, but even secular observers note that cohabitation no
longer even leads to marriage in most cases. Andrew Cherlin of John Hopkins
University recently told Time magazine that most cohabiting relationships among
young people in the United States are short term. This is not cohabiting before
marriage; it is cohabiting instead of marriage.
The Time story also pointed to
another worrying pattern: millennials are having children outside of marriage
at astounding rates.
Furthermore, several years ago, W.
Bradford Wilcox, relying on research conducted by Robert Wuthnow, argued that
the delay of marriage is a primary driver of secularization. This goes hand in
hand with the fact that the extension of adolescence comes with vast and often
unnoticed effects. Adulthood is meant for adult responsibilities, and for the
vast majority of young people, that will mean marriage and parenthood. The
extension of adolescence into the twenties (and even the thirties) is highly
correlated with the rise of secularism and with lower rates of church
attendance.
Christians understand that we were
created as male and female to demonstrate the glory of God, and that we were
given the gift of marriage as the singular context for which God designed the
sexual gift and granted us the privilege and command of having and raising
children. For all these reasons and more, Christians must understand that,
unless given the calling of celibacy, Christians should honor marriage and seek
to marry and to move into parenting and the full responsibilities of adulthood
earlier rather than later in life.
Delaying adulthood is not
consistent with a biblical vision of life, and for most young Christians,
marriage should be a central part of planning for young adulthood and
faithfulness to Christ. As husband and wife achieving adulthood together, young
Christians serve as a witness of God’s plan and God’s gift before a confused
world.
Christians understand that sex
before and outside of marriage is simply not an option. Cohabiting is
inconsistent with obedience to Christ. Children are God’s gifts to be received
and welcomed within the marriage covenant.
Tellingly, secular authorities in
the culture are now expressing worry about the delay of marriage among young
Americans. When Time magazine is concerned about young Americans not getting
married, Christians must be doubly concerned.
Young Americans, and that includes
young Christians, face some very real challenges in moving toward full
adulthood, and there is no question that economic factors play a part. But even
secular observers understand that a shift in marriage points to an underlying
shift in morality. The blunt fact is that previous generations of young adults,
facing even greater economic challenges, still found their way to adulthood and
marriage.
The Christian church must encourage
young Christians toward the goal of marriage and must be clear about the
necessity of holiness and obedience to Christ at every stage and in every
season of life. When the world around us is scratching its head, asking what
has happened to marriage, Christians must display the glory of God in marriage
and all that God gives to us in the marital covenant.
And we must encourage young
Christians not to delay marriage, nor to marry in haste, but to make marriage a
priority in the critical years of young adulthood. In that cause, we have no
time to wait.
