帮助孩子以上帝为避难所Helping Your Children Run to God astheir Refuge

作者: Jill Nelson   译者/校对者: 非比/雅斤

http://blog.childrendesiringgod.org/helping-your-children-run-to-god-as-their-refuge/

https://www.churchchina.org/archives/180703.html

我的孙子现在五岁了，他越来越意识到那些可怕和危险的事情。有些是小的恐惧——碎片、巨大的响声和游戏场上新来的孩子。但是另一些恐惧更加重大，比如对死亡的恐惧。随着年龄的增长，他接触到的可怕和危险的事情只会增加——恐怖主义、癌症、灾难等等。你如何帮助一个小孩子逃向一位“看不见的”全能的上帝以他为避难所？他如何能在他受了伤或者你们的房子被暴风雨毁坏了的时候，仍然确信上帝是完全的避难所？一种方法是通过讨论上帝在圣经中向我们启示的具体形象：上帝是坚固台、盾牌、山寨、岩石、避难所……

My grandson is now five years old, and he is increasingly aware of scary and dangerous things. Some are small fears—splinters, loud noises, and new children at the playground. But other fears are much more significant, like the fear of death. As he grows older, the number of scary and dangerous things he is exposed to will only grow—terrorism, cancer, calamities, etc. How can you help a young child run and trust in an “unseen” almighty God for his refuge? How can he be confident that God is a perfect refuge, even when he gets hurt or your house is damaged by a storm? One way is to talk about the concrete images that God has given us in Scripture: God is a strong tower, shield, fortress, rock, refuge…and more.

下面的经文和问题讨论可以作为例子供你和孩子一起使用。（来自新修订的《关于上帝的ABC》[3]）你们可以每天或每周讨论一项，或者，寻找一些适合教导的时机，就是你的孩子对某些环境表达恐惧的时候。

Below are some examples of texts and discussion questions to use with your children. (They are from the newly revised ABCs of God.) Maybe discuss one per day, or even one a week. Or, look for specific teachable moments when your child expresses fear over some circumstance.

阅读箴言18:10[4]。经文中用什么词来形容神的名？“坚固台”。经文中用什么词来表明你将被保护免受伤害？“安稳”。接下来阅读诗篇46:1[5]。什么词意味着上帝像一座坚固台，能保护你的安全？“避难所”。你认为你如何进入这座“坚固台”和“避难所”？有专门的门吗？阅读约翰福音10:9[6]。通往安全的道路是藉着相信耶稣。耶稣就像一扇门。当你把你的信心放在耶稣身上时，上帝就成为你的避难所，一个永远完全安全的地方。如果你相信耶稣，无论你身在何处，身处何种危险，你都可以通过呼求耶稣找到避难所。这周你有什么担心的事吗？我们如何能把这些经文变成祈求上帝帮助的祷告呢？

Read Proverbs 18:10. What words does the verse use to describe God’s name? [strong tower] What word does the verse use to show that you will be protected from harm? [safe] Next read Psalm 46:1. What word means that God is like a strong tower who will keep you safe? [refuge] How do you think that you get into this “strong tower” and “refuge”? Is there a special kind of door? Read John 10:9. The way to safety is through trusting in Jesus. Jesus is like a door. When you put your trust in Jesus, God becomes your refuge, a place of perfect safety forever. If you are trusting in Jesus, no matter where you are or what kind of danger you are in, you can find refuge by calling out to Jesus. Is there anything that you have felt worried about this week? How can we turn these verses into a prayer asking for God’s help?

让你的孩子回忆一个让他觉得身处危险之中、害怕某些东西的时候。问他：你试图在什么东西里找到安全吗？那是什么？它让你感到安全吗？为什么可以或者为什么不行？假设你正在外面的公园里，突然狂风大作，电闪雷鸣。你会试着做什么？站在树下可以吗？跑向一辆汽车怎么样？一座建筑物呢？这些东西总能保证你的安全吗？阅读箴言18:10和诗篇46:1。上帝提供的“台”有多坚固？他是全能的。没有任何人或东西比上帝更强大。要在上帝里寻求安全。你需要跑到某个地方，比如一座实际的建筑物里吗？神是“随时的帮助”意味着什么？这如何使得神给予他子民的庇护比其他任何东西所能提供的都更好？你是否曾“奔向”神那里寻求安全和保护呢？发生了什么？有没有圣经经文帮助你在遭患难时感受到神的帮助？

Ask your child to recall a time when he felt in danger and was scared of something. Ask: Did you try to find safety in something? What was it? Did it make you feel safe? Why or why not? Suppose you were outside at the park and a huge storm suddenly came with high winds, lightning, and hail stones. What would you try to do? Would standing under a tree be good? What about running to a car? A building? Can these things always keep you safe? Read Proverbs 18:10 and Psalm 46:1. How strong is the “tower” that God provides? [He is almighty. There is no one or nothing stronger than God.] To seek safety in God, do you need to run to a certain place, as in an actual building? What does it mean that God is a “very present help”? How does this make the refuge that God gives His people better than anything else? Was there a time in which you “ran to” God for safety and protection? What happened? Have there been any Bible verses that have helped you to feel God’s help in a time of trouble? [See verses such Psalm 18:2a; 34:22; 59:16b; 61:3; Psalm 62:7; John 14:1-3.]

给你的孩子看以下物品之一：放在信封内的贺卡，放在盒子里的珠宝或者一袋糖果。损坏信封、盒子或袋子，而不要损坏卡片、珠宝和糖果。用这个例子来帮助你的孩子理解上帝是他子民的避难所的真正含义。这并不意味着我们的身体将永远保持安全、不受伤害。我们的身体就像“外壳”（信封、盒子或袋子）。我们的灵魂——我们的心灵和头脑——这些部分会永远存在，它们就像放在里面的东西一样。上帝是避难所，意味着他将永远保守最重要的部分的安全。尽管上帝能够保守我们的身体免受一切伤害，因他是如此智慧和至高，但他可能为我们灵性的益处而允许我们受身体上的伤害。对一个基督徒来说，即使死亡也不再是有害的，因为这是上帝将他的子民带到天国永恒避难所的方式。和你的孩子讨论约翰福音14:1-3[7]或罗马书8:38-39[8]中的一些伟大应许，并一起有一段时间的祷告。

Show your child one of the following: a greeting card within an envelope; jewelry inside a box; a bag of candy. Damage the envelope, box, or bag in a way that does not damage the card, jewelry or candy. Use the illustration to help your child understand the true meaning of God being a refuge to His people. It does not mean that our bodies will always be kept safe from all physical harm. Our bodies are like the “outer covering” (the envelope, box, or bag). Our souls—our hearts and minds—the part of us that will last forever is like what was inside. God being a refuge means that He will always keep safe what is most important. Even though God is able to keep our bodies from all harm, He is also wise and sovereign and may allow physical harm for our spiritual good. Even death is not harmful for a Christian, because it is the way in which God brings His people into the eternal refuge of heaven. Talk about some of the great promises found in John 14:1-3 or Romans 8:38-39 and have a time a prayer with your child.

问你的孩子：你担心身体上的伤害吗？是什么让这件事如此可怕？你是否曾担心过更危险的东西，比如撒但、罪恶和你自己的罪？你曾害怕过上帝吗？为什么是或为什么不是？阅读诗篇62:7[9]。你认为大卫主要是在谈论关于他身体的保障和安全吗？什么是“拯救”？拯救就是上帝拯救人脱离他们的罪；从我们因自己的罪而应得的上帝公义的刑罚中被拯救出来。一个人如何能得到这样的庇护，即永远脱离神对你的罪的忿怒，被保守在安全中？通过信靠耶稣。

Ask your child: Do you worry about physical harm? What makes it so scary? Do you ever worry about even more dangerous things like Satan and evil and your own sin? Do you ever feel afraid of God? Why or why not? Read Psalm 62:7. Do you think that David was talking mainly about protection and safety for his body? What is “salvation”? [God saving someone from their sin; being saved from the right punishment we deserve from God because of our sin] How can a person receive this kind of refuge—being kept safe forever from God’s anger at your sin? [through trusting in Jesus]

Jill Nelson是一名妻子、母亲、祖母、教师和作家。她在主日学任教20多年，并为真理78编写以上帝为中心的课程。

[2] Helping Children to Understand the Gospel是Truth 78网站编辑的小册子。http://www.childrendesiringgod.org/resources/resource.php?id=19&productPageId=2（2017年7月11日存取）——编者注

[3] ABCs of God是Truth 78网站编辑的小册子。——编者注

[4] 耶和华的名是坚固台，义人奔入，便得安稳。

[5] 神是我们的避难所，是我们的力量，是我们在患难中随时的帮助。

[6] 我就是门，凡从我进来的，必然得救，并且出入得草吃。

[7] 你们心里不要忧愁，你们信神，也当信我。在我父的家里有许多住处；若是没有，我就早已告诉你们了。我去原是为你们预备地方去。我若去为你们预备了地方，就必再来接你们到我那里去；我在那里，叫你们也在那里。

[8] 因为我深信无论是死，是生，是天使，是掌权的，是有能的，是现在的事，是将来的事，是高处的，是低处的，是别的受造之物，都不能叫我们与神的爱隔绝；这爱是在我们的主基督耶稣里的。

[9] 我的拯救，我的荣耀，都在乎神；我力量的磐石，我的避难所，都在乎神。

帮助孩子为受苦作预备Helping Children Prepare for Suffering

作者: Truth 78   译者/校对者: 影子/雅斤

http://blog.childrendesiringgod.org/helping-children-prepare-for-suffering/

https://www.churchchina.org/archives/180703.html

我们的孩子通常带着这样的信念长大：上帝应该给予他们舒适和“当下最好的生活”。这样的信念是源于周遭文化所传递的信息，当然也来自其父母的行为。然而，圣经教导我们的却恰好相反。耶稣告诉我们说：“在世上你们有苦难”（约16:33）；彼得说我们不应该惊奇于“有火炼的试验临到你们，似乎是遭遇非常的事”（彼前4:12）；雅各也命令说：“落在百般试炼中，都要以为大喜乐”（雅1:2）。

Children often grow up believing, on the basis of the cultural messages all around them—as well as the actions of their parents—that God owes them comfort and their “best life now.” But Scripture tells us otherwise. Jesus told us that “in this life you will have tribulation,” Peter said we should not “be surprised when the fiery trial comes upon us to test us, as though something strange were happening to us,” and James commands us to “count it all joy when we meet trials of various kinds” (John 16:33, 1 Peter 4:12, James 1:2).

那么，父母应当怎样与他们的孩子谈论“苦难”呢？如果需要，应该为此做怎样的预备？史蒂夫·沃特斯（Steve Watters），是“真理78（Truth 78，以下用“T78”代表）”的公共关系主管，与圣经教师南希·格斯里（Nancy Guthrie，以下用“NG”代表）一起，就父母如何帮助他们的孩子处理并预备苦难的问题展开对话。南希和他的丈夫大卫曾痛失2个孩子，目前他们正在为有相似经历的父母组织静修营。

How then should parents talk to their children about suffering? And what, if anything, should they do to prepare them for it? Steve Watters, communications director for Truth78, sat down with Bible teacher Nancy Guthrie to ask how parents can help their children process and prepare for suffering. Nancy and David Guthrie experienced the death of two of their children and now lead respite retreats for parents in similar seasons of suffering.

T78：请您讲讲，孩子会如何向父母学习面对苦难呢？

T78: How do children learn from parents how to face suffering?

NG：我们大多数做父母的都认为，不管是关于苦难的问题还是其他的事情，教导孩子主要是透过我们的言语。大卫和我跟许多有罹患癌症或类似绝症的孩子的家长交谈过，发现他们都会特别想知道一件事情：“我要怎么跟孩子说这件事？”然而我认为，孩子通常不首先是通过我们说了什么来学习；他们学习如何面对苦难的首要途径，如何思考、感受和谈论苦难，是透过观察我们。

Nancy Guthrie: Most of us as parents think that the primary way we teach our children about suffering, or anything else, is by what we say to them. David and I talk with lots of couples where someone in the family has a cancer diagnosis or something like that and they wonder, “how am I going to talk to the kids about this?” I don’t think though, that it’s primarily through what we say to our children that our children learn the most. I think the primary way they learn about suffering, how to think about it, how to feel about it, how to talk about it, is by what they observe in us.

当我们在经历患难时，如果他们看到了愤怒，他们很可能就会这样理解：“苦难是不对的，肯定是什么人错待了我们；是上帝亏待了我们。”他们就会学会这样愤怒的回应方式。另外，他们还会学到一种世界观，即“我不需要经历这个世界的破碎，即使这破碎是所有人都会经历的，我配得更好的”。孩子从我们身上能够捕捉到一种对生活的假定——总之，我不必经历苦难，受苦本身是个意外。

If, when we’re going through a season of suffering, they observe anger, they’re probably going to absorb a sense of “this is not right; somebody out there has wronged us; God has wronged us”–they’re going to absorb that angry response. Also, they’re going to absorb an attitude about how things work in the world, that I deserve something different than to experience the brokenness of this world that is universal to everyone in the world. Kids can absorb a sense of presumption that somehow, I shouldn’t have to experience this, and surprise about suffering.

作为父母，我们必须说的就是上帝告诉我们：“不要因为苦难而惊奇。苦难对世界上所有人来说都是普遍存在的。”圣经上关于苦难的信息是说，要我们准备好受苦，知晓在受苦中上帝会与我们同在。并且这苦难不是毫无意义的，而是有目的的。如果你是属基督的，你的受苦就并非没有意义，而是有目的的。他能、也将使用这苦难，在你的生命中、在你的世界中实现他美善、荣耀的目的。当你相信这一点，你就会把这样的态度也传递给孩子。

One thing we do have to say as parents is that the word of God tells us, “don’t be surprised at suffering. This is common to everyone in the world.” The Bible’s message about suffering is expect to suffer. Know that God will be with you in this suffering and your suffering is not meaningless, but purposeful. If you belong to Christ, your suffering is not meaningless, but purposeful. He can and will use it to accomplish in your life, and in the world around you, His good and glorious purposes. As you believe that, you can transmit that to your kids.

T78：如果孩子没有听到这些信息，如果他们没有准备好受苦，会有什么后果？

T78: What are the consequences when children don’t hear that, when they aren’t prepared for suffering?

NG：当他们经历困苦，他们就会变得冷酷，对上帝怀有苦毒。他们看自己好像受害人，而不是活在这个破碎世界中的基督的门徒。他们不知道活在这个被咒诅的世界中的一部分，就是经历这个世界的苦难。然而，他们应该具有这样的认识——此生不是全部。这难道不是我们的孩子最应该懂得的真理吗？这个世界、电视节目、学校的朋友或是周遭的文化总是告诉我们：今世就是生活的全部；今世你就应当在社会上扬名立万；此时此地，你应该抓住一切你能得到的快乐，你可以成为任何你想成为的人。孩子不应当受这些影响！然而人们却认为，这些信念可以让孩子得以自立自强。

NG: When they do experience suffering, they become hard and bitter toward God. They can see themselves as victims, rather than disciples who are living in a broken world, anticipating that part of living in this world that’s under a curse is experiencing the suffering of this world. They need to have a sense that this life is not all there is. Isn’t that something our kids need to understand more than anything else? They’re not going to get that message from the world, television, their friends at school, the culture around us—those are always telling us: this is where life is; this is where you’ve got to make a mark on this world; this is where you’ve got to grab all the Gusto you can get, in the here and now; you can be anything you want to be. People think this is some kind of self-empowerment message for kids.

我认为最好的信息是这样：“你可以相信，上帝会在你里面做工，为了呼召你去完成他的旨意，他会装备你去做他要你做的事、成为他要你成为的人。”这样设定的预期才是以上帝为中心，而不是你必须完成你自己的梦想、必须成为重要的人物。因为如果这些事情没有发生，这些错误的期待就是在为孩子们制造苦毒，且无助于他们接受上帝在他们生命中的主权。

I think a far better message is, “you can trust that God will work in you, to call you to His purposes, and will equip you to do and be all that He’s called you to do and be.” That’s a God-centered view that sets some expectations for your life in this world, rather than setting this expectation that you’ve got to accomplish your dream; you’ve got to become somebody. That sets kids up for bitterness when all of those things don’t happen, instead of acceptance of the sovereignty of God in their life.

T78：当我们面对苦难，这种痛苦会在我们生命中揭示什么？

T78: When we face suffering, what does that suffering tend to reveal in our lives?

NG：我的丈夫大卫和我一起在为失去孩子的父母举办周末静修营会。我们在过去的两个周末里一直在静修，而上周末就有一些夫妻表达了他们对上帝的愤怒。我回应的方式是这样：“不管你发怒的对象是上帝还是其他人，或是环境，愤怒其实表达了一种期待——我期待这件事与实际发生的有所不同。如果我对你发怒，那是因为我本来期待你有不一样的行为或言语，而你却做了我不希望你做的，或没有做我期待你做的事情。比如当车子抛锚，或什么人打坏了我们的东西，我们就抓狂，这就反映出，我们希望这事不会发生在我们身上。”

NG: My husband David and I host weekend retreats for couples who have lost children. We’ve done retreats the last two weekends, and last weekend, there were a number of couples who were verbalizing their anger toward God. One way I pushed back on that is to say, “Whether it’s anger toward God or anger toward any person or situation, anger reveals an expectation—I expected this would be different. If I’m angry at you, it’s because I expected you would do or say something different. You have done something I didn’t want you to do, or you didn’t do something I expected you to do. Our frustration when the car breaks down or when somebody damages something of ours, reveals we have an expectation that these things shouldn’t happen to us.

同样，对于上帝的愤怒绝大多数情况下是基于对上帝是谁、他应当在我们生活中有怎样的作为抱有某种期望。我们认为，既然我们这么聪明、这么属灵地选择了他，他就应该履行他的那份责任，保护我们免于苦难，赐福我们，成全我们在这个世界上想做的事，让我们成为想成为的人。我们有时候其实期待上帝成为我们的仆人，而不是我们要成为他的仆人；期待作为上帝，他就应该赐下我们认为最好的生活，我们认为如此这般才更舒适的生活。当这些成为我们的期待，而苦难却来临，我们当然完全有理由向上帝发怒。这种愤怒说明了上述这些假设和预期。

 Similarly, in terms of anger with God, a lot of times that’s based on having expectations of who God is and what He ought to be doing in our lives. We think that if we have been so smart, so spiritual, to choose Him, that now He’s got to do His job and His job should be to protect us from suffering in this life, and to bless us; to fulfill all these things we want to do and be in this world. We sometimes have this expectation that God is our servant rather than we are His servants; expectations that God’s role is to give us the life that we think will be best for us, that we think that will be more comfortable. When those are our expectations, and suffering comes into our life, it makes complete sense that we’d be angry with God. The anger reveals the assumption and the expectations.

在静修营会上，我曾挑战那些父母去做这样的事：“识别出你的期待是什么，然后问自己一个问题——你的期待有什么根据？”这个问题就会迫使我们首先说出类似这样的话：“我以为上帝会照顾我，我就不用受苦了；我以为，为孩子祷告了那么久，就意味着我不必白发人送黑发人了。”然后，你接着问下一个问题：“你这样的期待是基于什么呢？”以及“你在圣经的什么地方看到了这样的应许呢？”大多数时候，我们会听到在释经方面的错误，或是误解了圣经中我们读到的应许，或是错误地应用了某些经文。一旦你抓住了这个点，你就能处理它了。

What I challenged those couples to do at our retreat was to say, “Identify what your expectations were, and then ask the question, on what basis did you expect that?” What that reveals, first of all, it kind of forces us to say, “I thought God was going to take care of me so that I wouldn’t have to suffer. I thought all my prayers for my kids were going to mean that I wouldn’t have to bury one of my children.” Then you go onto the next question, “On what basis was that your expectation?” Then you ask, where do you see this promise in the Scripture? What that actually gets at a lot of times is the errors we make in interpretation; the promises we read in the Scriptures that we misunderstand, or misapply. Once you get to that point, you can deal with it.

帮助孩子明白跟从耶稣的代价Helping Children Understand the Costof Following Jesus

作者: Jill Nelson  译者/校对者: 香柏/雅斤

http://blog.childrendesiringgod.org/helping-children-understand-the-cost-of-following-jesus/

https://www.churchchina.org/archives/180703.html

许多年前我的儿子踏进了征兵办公室。那里的人向他描绘了一番精彩光荣的军旅生活——不只经济待遇好，还有令人兴奋的冒险。不加入简直是疯了。但是征兵工作人员并不知情的是，在此之前我们的儿子已经和一位从军20年（其中有两年在战区的经历）的好友和导师有过一番交谈。他给我们的儿子描绘了一幅更加客观且真实的画面。我们的儿子是从他那里了解了真实的军旅生活之后才报名应征的。他是在计算了代价之后才决定参军，因为他愿意投身于一项他所相信的事业，知道等着自己的会有辛劳、舍己、受苦和战争。

Years ago my son stepped through the doors of an Army recruitment office. He was given a wonderful and glorious picture of army life—one filled with financial benefits and exciting adventures. You’d be crazy NOT to join up. But, unbeknownst to the recruiter, our son had been given a prior “recruitment” talk by a good friend and mentor who had been in the army for 20 years (including two, year-long deployments into war zones). He gave our son a much more realistic and truthful picture. It was with this latter understanding that our son signed up. He counted the cost and joined because he was committed to a cause he believed in, knowing that hard work, self-sacrifice, suffering, and war was ahead.

有时我会想，在我们向孩子传讲福音的时候，是否也容易带有一种微妙的“征兵心理”。请不要误会我的意思——福音无疑是最荣耀的消息，我们也非常乐意与孩子和学生分享，信靠和跟从耶稣确实能够带来无与伦比的益处和全然满足的喜乐。唯有耶稣是“道路、真理和生命”。但是，我们是否曾帮助他们了解到跟从耶稣需要付代价呢？

I wonder sometimes if we are prone to a subtle type of recruitment mentality when we present the Gospel to children. Please don’t get me wrong—the Gospel IS the most glorious news of all, and we should be gladly sharing with our children and students the truth of the incomparable benefits and all-satisfying joy of trusting in Jesus and following Him. Jesus alone is “the way and the true and the life.” But, do we also help them understand that there is a cost in following Jesus?

耶稣又对众人说：“若有人要跟从我，就当舍己，天天背起他的十字架来跟从我。因为凡要救自己生命的，必丧掉生命；凡为我丧掉生命的，必救了生命。”（路9:23-24）

And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. 24For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.” (Luke 9:23-24, ESV)

最近，贾里德•威尔森（Jared Wilson）在一篇题为《寻人：前来赴死》的文章中写道：

Recently, Jared Wilson wrote an article titled, “Men Wanted: Come and Die.”  In it he states:

你可曾在征兵海报或电视广告上看到过负伤的士兵？可曾看到过中枪的士兵、为鲜血直流的战友注射吗啡的军医以及在战场上成片倒下的伤员？

Have you ever seen a military recruitment poster or TV ad that showed wounded soldiers? Ever seen one that showed soldiers taking bullets, medics administering morphine to blood-gushing comrades, or an array of battle-hardened quadriplegics?

不，你没有见过。我们招兵的时候会展示锃亮的武器、技术先进的机器和系统、惊险刺激的驻地，还有强健的男男女女手持武器、积极投入并且勇敢无畏地乐在其中。

No, you have not. We recruit soldiers by showing shiny weapons, technologically advanced machines and systems, adventurous locales, and strong, healthy men and women using them, engaging in them, and bravely enjoying them.

但保罗不会这样。他不会美化福音使命。正如基督所说的：要“计算代价”，“背起你的十字架”；而保罗的征兵口号是：同担苦难！

But not Paul. He will not whitewash the mission. As Christ says, “Count the cost” and “Take up your cross” and “Die to self,” Paul’s recruitment slogan is: Share in suffering.

在提摩太后书2:7中，他写道：“我所说的话你要思想，因为凡事主必给你聪明。”他希望耶稣的门徒能够仔细考虑神为他们预先做好的安排，告诉他们基督要求门徒像士兵一样受苦、像运动员一样训练、像农夫一样劳力。这三个例子的共同之处在于为了一个当前不能很快实现的回报，坚持日复一日地刻苦操练。

In 2 Timothy 2:7, he writes, “Think over what I say, for the Lord will give you understanding in everything.” He wants disciples of Jesus to consider what he’s just laid out for them, which is that Christianity is about suffering like a soldier, training like an athlete, and working hard like a farmer. One thing these three examples have in common is a stubborn commitment to a diligent daily grind for a payoff that is not instant or immediate.

这并不是说每当我们在向孩子阐明福音的时候都要用很长时间并且很病态地描述受苦。但是，我们应当使用适合他们年龄的方式，帮助孩子和学生意识到，跟从耶稣需要付上代价。

This is not to say that we include a prolonged or overly morbid description about suffering whenever we present the Gospel to children. However, we should help our children and students recognize, in age-appropriate ways, that there is a cost involved in following Jesus. What might this look like?

在我们的小册子《帮助孩子理解福音》[2]中，我们列举了十条需要孩子知道并领受的重要真理，其中第十条是：

In our booklet “Helping Children to Understand the Gospel,” we present 10 essential truths for children to know and embrace. Here is essential truth 10:

信靠耶稣的人会为讨他喜悦而活，也会得到永生的应许——在天上永远以神为乐。（路9:23；约11:25；约一2:15；诗16:11）

Those who trust in Jesus will live to please Him and will receive the promise of eternal life-enjoying God forever in heaven. (Luke 9:23; John 11:25; 1 John 2:15; Psalm 16:11)

我们建议你这样讲解这条真理：

Here is how we suggest you could explain this truth:

如果你想弹钢琴或成为棒球队队员，你会想到你需要为此花时间练习吗？有必要在上钢琴课或加入棒球队之前好好考虑一下吗？为什么？因为我们要为自己作出的选择付上代价。如果你想要把钢琴弹好，你需要花很多时间去练习。为了练琴和上课你需要放弃其他一些事情。为了弹好钢琴你可能需要放弃什么呢？为了成为一名优秀的棒球运动员你需要做出哪些改变呢？

If you want to play the piano or be on a baseball team, would you expect it would take a certain amount of time and practice? Would it be a good thing to think about this before you started piano lessons or joined the baseball team? Why? Because there is a “cost” involved to the choices we make. If you want to play the piano well, it will demand your time because you will have to practice. You will need to give up other things in order to practice and to go to lessons. What might you have to give up in order to play the piano well? What will you need to change in order to be a good baseball player?

救恩是神白白赐给你的礼物，而且每一位真正悔改和信靠耶稣的人都能得到这份礼物。但是这个免费的礼物需要你付上一生的代价!这是什么意思呢？意思是你必须按照耶稣的旨意而活，而不是听凭己意。意思是在余生的每一天你都应该相信和跟从耶稣——在你十岁、二十岁、五十岁、甚至九十岁的时候。要做到这一点，有些事你需要放弃，有些事你需要改变。

Salvation is a free gift offered to you by God and it is given to everyone who truly repents and is trusting in Jesus. But this free gift will cost you your whole life! What does that mean? It means you must do things Jesus’ way instead of your own way. It means every day you must trust and follow Jesus for the rest of your life—when you’re 10, 20, 50, and even 90 years old. In order to do this, there are things you will have to give up and things you will need to change.

比如说，你需要花时间祷告，而不是随心玩耍；你需要花时间阅读圣经，而不是沉迷于电视；你需要花时间默想上帝，而不是只顾想着朋友，这都是很难的功课！你曾想过信耶稣的代价吗？你已经准备好真心悔改、信靠耶稣并且在余生按他的心意行事，即使当你老去的时候也依然如此吗？

For example, you will need to spend time praying instead of just playing. You will need to spend time reading your Bible instead of just watching television. You will need to spend time thinking about God instead of just thinking about friends. That is hard work! Have you thought about the “cost” of trusting in Jesus? Are you ready to truly repent and trust Jesus, and then do things His way for the rest of your life? Even when you get old?

神对每一个信靠耶稣的人都有应许：他会赐你一位特殊的帮助者，即圣灵。圣灵是神，他住在每一位信靠耶稣的人里面。圣灵是全能的，他能够帮助你完成遵行耶稣旨意这一艰难的功课。圣灵会开始改变你，因此你会越来越爱神、信靠神、顺服神并且以神为乐。

God has a promise for everyone who is trusting in Jesus: He will give you a special Helper, the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is God, and He lives inside every person who trusts in Jesus. The Holy Spirit is all-powerful, and He is there to help you with the hard work of doing things Jesus’ way. The Holy Spirit will begin to change you, so you love, trust, obey, and enjoy God more and more.

跟从耶稣需要付代价，但是神应许每一个信靠耶稣的人都会得到丰厚的奖赏——这份奖赏又大又激动人心，比我们想象的还要美好。是什么样的奖赏呢？是永生！永生是指在天堂与神永远同住。天堂是一个真实的地方，每一个信靠耶稣的人有一天都会去那里居住。神的百姓再也不会犯罪。我们的身体是不朽坏的。不再会有疾病、衰残、伤害和孤单。天堂是全然无暇的，一切都洁净、完好而且美丽，但这还不是天堂最吸引人之处。我们终于能亲眼见到耶稣！没有什么人和事比耶稣更惊人、伟大、奇妙、美丽和令人心驰神往了。和耶稣在一起会让我们永远幸福。

There is a cost to following Jesus, but God has promised a huge reward for everyone who trusts in Jesus—a reward that is so great and exciting that it is better than anything we can even imagine. What is it? Eternal life! Eternal life is living forever with God in heaven. Heaven is a real place where everyone who is trusting in Jesus will someday go to live. God’s people will not sin anymore. Our bodies will be perfect. No more being sick, or dying, or feeling hurt or lonely. There will be no bad things in heaven. Everything will be clean and perfect and beautiful, but those things aren’t even the best part of heaven. The best part of heaven is that God will live there with His people. We will finally get to really see Jesus! There is nothing and no one who is more amazing, great, wonderful, beautiful, and exciting than Jesus. Being with Jesus will make us happy forever.

教养熊孩子Parenting Ddifficult Child

作者: Julie Lowe  译者: Duncan Liang

https://www.ccef.org/resources/blog/parenting-difficult-child

https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/SqwbO-A9x-qhMlK87DrItw

父母心情最沉重的一些时候，就是你身边的人清楚看出你的孩子目中无人，很难相处。其他人会怎么想？这暴露了我这作父母的出了什么问题？他们可能认定你孩子的行为是教养无方，或你家中出了某些问题的结果。人甚至可能大胆与你分享他们的看法，丝毫没有意识到他们正在大大羞辱你。你们这些家有熊孩子的父母知道我在讲什么。你觉得因你孩子自己的挣扎，你被人挑出来当作靶子，甚至受到论断。你在那些“知道”你出了问题的人面前抬不起头。人认定他们看你是失败的父母。如果你真是称职的父母，肯定你的孩子会乖乖的，爱神，有礼貌。毕竟，他们的孩子没有如此不顺服。

Some of the most burdensome moments for a parent are when it is clear to those around you that your child is defiant or difficult. What are other people thinking? What does this say about me as a parent? They might assume your child’s behavior is a result of inadequate parenting or something else amiss in your home. People may even be bold enough to share their views, without any sense of the shame they are heaping upon you. Those of you with a difficult child understand. You feel marked, and even judged, by your child’s personal struggles. You hang your head around people who “know” about the problem. You assume they see you as a failure. If you were a good parent, surely your children would be well-behaved, love God, and have good manners. After all, their children are not so insubordinate.

如果你有这样的感受，你就可能已经接受了这种观念，就是好父母教养出好孩子，糟糕的父母教养出坏孩子。有时这看起来完全符合圣经。如果你教养孩童，使他走当行的道，他就不会偏离，难道不是吗？所以结论就是，如果你真足够敬虔、足够有智慧、足够有耐心，你的孩子就不会像现在这样悖逆了。看来正确的方法就是：爱加上管教加上敬虔的教训= “好孩子”。因为有时候这种方法看起来奏效，你就认定问题肯定出在你对孩子的教养方面。

If this is how you feel, you may have bought into the belief that good parents produce good children and bad parents produce bad children. At times, this seems downright biblical. If you raise a child in the way he should go, he won’t depart from it, right? So it follows that if you were godly enough, wise enough and patient enough, your child would not be so rebellious. It seems that the right formula is: love plus discipline plus godly instruction = “good” kids. And because, at times, the formula does seem to work, you determine the error must be in your parenting.

我听过许多父母说：“我们已经用尽一切选择，一切方法，一切形式的后果责罚……没有一样奏效。我试过平静；我试过管教一致；我试过诉诸于他们的良心，与他们一起祷告，为他们祷告。没有一样有用。什么也没有改变。“父母的意思是，这没有带来想要的行为改变或可见的内心变化。再一次，人的认定就是，用了这方法，却证明无效。

I’ve heard many a parent say, “We’ve exhausted all options, all approaches, all forms of consequences… and nothing worked. I tried being calm; I tried consistent discipline; I tried appealing to their conscience and praying with them and for them. Nothing helped. Nothing changed.” What the parent means is that it did not produce the desired behavior change or a visible heart change. The assumption is that, once again, the formula was applied, and it proved useless.

但这是一种有缺陷、不符合圣经的进路。有好孩子出自很糟糕的家庭背景，有悖逆、任性的孩子出自好的基督徒家庭。孩子进入我们的世界，不是白板一块，而是有他们自己的个性、长短处、愿望和容易犯某种罪的试探。他们生来内心就受他们自己愿望吸引，他们行使意志力，为自己选择要成为哪种类型的人。你教养儿女的另一端，是一位活跃的、有道德的作出回应的小人儿——他们选择要服侍谁。父母没有办法担保有什么结果。

But this is a faulty, unbiblical approach. Good kids come out of horrific family backgrounds, and rebellious, willful kids come out of good, Christian homes. Children do not come to us as blank slates, but with their own personalities, strengths, weakness, desires, and temptations towards particular sin. They are born with hearts that are wooed by their own desires, and they exercise volition to choose for themselves the type of person they will become. There is an active moral responder on the other end of your parenting—one who chooses whom they will serve. And there is no way a parent can ensure the outcome.

当然，父母在孩子生命当中确实发挥举足轻重的作用，但不要接受这种观念，就是认定好的教养就要带来行为乖巧的孩子。这种观念不正确地把一切所有权和责任放在你身上。它带来的重担会试探你，让你想放弃，或使用糟糕、不敬虔的教养方法（发怒、大喊大叫、严酷、绝望、退让或完全撒手不管），因为这可能看起来短期奏效。

Of course, a parent does play a significant role in a child’s life, but don’t buy into the belief that assumes good parenting will produce well-behaved children. It incorrectly places all the ownership and blame on you. And the burden of it might tempt you to want to give up or resort to poor or ungodly parenting (anger, yelling, harshness, despair, backing down, or backing away completely) because it might appear to work in the short run.

那么你该怎么办？让我提两个建议，它们可能对你有所帮助。

What then are you to do? Let me suggest two things that might help.

首先，反省你的动机。虽然你无需为你孩子糟糕的选择负责，但有没有可能你不知不觉让问题变得更严重？如果你因为孩子很难管就感到很挫败，绝望或愤怒，你就需要问自己：你用什么标准评判你自己？是谁的计划在指挥着你教养儿女？是属世、以自我为中心的计划，还是以基督为中心的计划？你可能会愿望得到好结果，却变得被非常糟糕的动机驱动。你是否太过在意你自己的安逸或名声？你是否希望你的孩子行为良好，几乎没有什么问题或挣扎？让你看起来形象很好，有果效，聪明和有爱心？你是否因为把自己投资在这孩子身上，看不到果效就变得苦毒？如果你对这些问题任何一个的回答是肯定的，你就要考虑为着掌控你内心的愿望认罪悔改。求神赐你恩典、刚毅和智慧，教养你那难管的孩子。求祂让你明白如何出于爱儿女、关心他们的福祉，而不是出于爱自己、关心自己福祉来回应你的孩子。

First, evaluate your motivation. Though you are not responsible for your child’s bad choices, could it be that, without realizing it, you are adding to the problem? If you are frustrated, despairing, or angry because your child is difficult, you need to ask yourself: What standard do you judge yourself by? Whose agenda is dictating your parenting? Is it a worldly, self-centered agenda, or a Christ-centered one? You can desire good things that become driven by very bad motives. Do you care too much about your own comfort or reputation? Do you desire a well-behaved child with few problems, or struggles? Children that make you look good, that are productive, smart, and kind? Are you embittered because you have invested yourself in this child and see no results? If you can answer yes to any of these questions, consider confessing the desires that grip your heart. Ask God to give you the grace, fortitude, and wisdom to parent your challenging child. Ask him to show you how to respond to your child out of love and concern for his or her wellbeing, not your own.

第二，提醒你自己，神对你这作父母的有什么呼召——不多、不少，只看神的呼召。祂呼召你爱你的孩子，以身作则体现出像基督一样的品格和生活方式，有智慧和深思熟虑地回应你孩子的挣扎。你要培养与永生神的个人关系，尽你所能，用神的形象塑造你孩子的优缺点。虽然神期望你用坚定的爱与智慧教养儿女，祂却无需要你为儿女的罪或反叛带来的结果负责。

Second, remind yourself of what God calls you to as a parent—no more, no less. He calls you to love your children, to model a Christ-like character and lifestyle, and to respond wisely and thoughtfully to their struggles. You are to foster a personal relationship with the living God, and, to the best of your ability, shape your child’s strengths and weaknesses in his image. Though God expects you to parent with consistent love and wisdom, he does not hold you responsible for results that are driven by the child’s sin or rebellion.

停止“尝试”让事情生出一个特定的结果，只要努力敬虔教养儿女。不要根据你孩子的反应判断这是否有效。只要不断省察：

Stop “trying” to make things turn out a particular way and just do the hard work of godly parenting. Do not judge its effectiveness by your child’s response. Simply wrestle with this:

我是用爱心教养儿女吗？

我教养儿女连贯一致吗？

我教养儿女有智慧吗？

Is my parenting loving?

Is it consistent?

Is it wise?

这是够挑战的。仅仅在以上这几方面，你就会失败，知罪，需要赦罪。余下必须交给圣灵在孩子生命中动工。当你把你的教养儿女交给主，就会得到极大自由脱离论断，不再多多关注别人的看法，有更多盼望，较少绝望。让祂做余下的工作。正如加拉太书6:9所说：“我们行善，不可丧志。”

That will be challenging enough. You will fail, be convicted, and need forgiveness on those fronts alone. The rest must be left to the work of the Spirit in a child’s life. You will find much freedom from judgement, less care for the opinions of others, more hope and less despair when you commit your parenting to the Lord. Let him do the rest. As Galatians 6:9 says, “Let us not grow weary of doing good.”